And yet, here I am, once again sitting at Starbucks. Back in my chair, where thoughts come in and go out, as I watch the people walk in.
These are the moments I think about my life. What I want for it, what I have done about it… It changes, every time, it really does! Am I the only human being who wants something different for her life every time she takes a seat, and has time to look around? Maybe that is why I try to avoid meditation time… Because I literally see my life going in a thousand different directions, don’t you? I don’t think I have ever met someone as confused as me! Or can anyone out there compare? One day I want to stay home and really focus on my jewelry making and read my books. Another day, I want to get a job in what I am studying, which sound logical. Another day I just want to leave it all behind and drop off the face of the earth, sounds freeing and joyful, hard too. Which brings me to this quote, “quit your job and travel the world.” Well, if I am goin to take this seriously, I am going to need a job to quit in the first place… that way I can quit and have enough money to actually travel… So, that didn’t quite go the way I was hoping. Maybe the twenties are a hard age to go through all together. Is it fair to say that I do not know what I want for my life, but have one more year of school to go… I add that because usually when someone finishes school, well they have prepared themselves for a couple of years to do what they wanted… Maybe, I shouldn’t think too much about the future, but don’t we all, everyone is always thinking about later, and about tomorrow, and next year! Why is living in the moment so hard? I agree with patience being a virtue, because I definitely do not have it! So I have decided to have no long-term plans, dramatic I know. Well, I have decided to live in the moment, and that choice has a lot of commitment behind it, I have to constantly remind myself that I am here, in the now… That makes me sad, because I know I am not the only that is not present, fully, right now. The only sure thing I know for myself right now, is that I will let my hair down to my shoulders, weird no? Well it’s the only thing I can think about now I want for sure. …And truthfully, that thought brings about all of the peace of mind I have needed.
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CategoriesAuthorHello, I am 21 years old. Fascinated with the struggles of life and the beauty that comes with them. I travel not to pin point places on a map, but to discover the true essence of humanity and what makes each one of us uniquely beautiful. All I want to do is breathe the air around me as I go. Just to breathe life in :) Archives
March 2016
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